There's no intelligent life here!!!

I have been working on my genealogy research for the past few weeks and I'm no closer to any new information now than when I started. It's hard having to start over completely. I was at least way ahead of the job before the fire back in 2005 when I lost everything. I lost pictures, records, documents, histories etc. And for the most part I did have a few people who helped me with what they had. 

Today most of those people are passed on and they were so caring to share their stories and histories and helping me find my own heritage. I am so thankful to those people who...if they were here now would gladly help me. So far I am still going this whole thing alone. It is not for lack of trying to get others involved and trying to get them to participate because I have tried and tried to no avail, its been like pulling teeth, they simply refuse to budge on even the tiniest bit of information, a simply story, a simple fact...etc. and they at this point know exactly what Im talking about. These people make me so angry, they pretend to be loving and caring, acting like they are family and yet smirking in the background at my efforts to do something good. They offer nothing at all to my project, you know who you are!!! I don't think I am asking for anything outrageous just a little information to help me with my family history. 

Oh well, if it isn't something they can gossip about  and snicker behind my back then its not worth sharing  with me. Sometimes I think my family stinks but of course we came from hard working class trash people and we have not progressed much since then and it doesn't look like  we ever really will. To complicate things even more many decendents have completely contaminated the bloodline so badly devastating it forever beyond ever repairing the damage done. Many have even destroyed any sense of reputaion of the surnames for as many as there are, all have been damaged over the years by all decendents of our ancestors. The family surnames repuations have been damaged beyond repair and can never be restored to what the ancestors intended for us.

All of them can KISS my ass if they do not wish to participate and offer ANY help whatsoever, then so be it, but at the same time they need never ask ANYTHING of me...fair is fair. I do not need their help, I will continue to manage the whole thing on my own..like most things I have had to endure most all of my life. I don't need any of them. They don't need to pretend to be family.. they are only family by name or blood, nothing more!!!! 

I am incredibly determined to trace my family genealogy with or without the so called family members input or participation. However, I do thank my grandmother Rosemary Pratt, My grandfather Russell G. Morrison, My father Russell E. Morrison Sr. My greatgrandmother Daisy S. Miller, My aunt Lida L. Warman, & most of all my mother Wanda Lee Morrison. My mother has contributed more than any of my living family members ever have or ever will. She is pretty much the only living family member who cares about what I am trying to accomplish in tracing our genealogy and history. 

Let me warn everyone whatever I do manage to accomplish will wind up in book form oneday for the whole world to see. Whether I get it right or not will be no fault of mine since none of the family members offered any of their assistance, information or participation and they will have no one to blame but themselves for their own stupidity. SO BE IT, READ IT AND WEEP, no apologies will be offered later!!! 

You Made Me Live Again

The Day My Grand mother Died....nov. 8, 2010

Well  my grandmother passed away this morning. Mother called me this afternoon to let me know. It may seem somewhat strange to most people but I somehow am not all that sad about it and i am quite happy for her actually. It was said that she died quietly and without pain. I was told she had gotten up, walked down the hall to the cafeteria and ate a hefty breakfast. Shortly after breakfast she walked back to her room, laid down and simply fell asleep....never to awaken in this life again. Quite undramatic and I am quite happy for her passing. I am not saying that because i didn't love her but because i did love her with my entire being. She was much loved. She was my everything in this life. I will miss her, she will always remain alive in my memories.

Anyway, I am very disappointed with all those around me at the moment. I am told that there will be no wake / viewing of her and this has angered me deeply. All the years she was institutionalized none of her arrogant children had made sure that her money was safe and would not be squandered and to make sure that there would be funds for a viewing and all the funeral expenses later. And so now those same arrogant people are shedding crocodile tears like any of them had ever really given a damned about her. They make me feel so sick. They speak of such fond memeories....now that she is dead of course, but I recall memories of my own of how they all really felt about her all those years ago.  My memories were how ill she was used, abused, talked about behind her back, made fun of and laughed at and now suddenly they cry their crocodile tears and cry out her name as if they would actually miss her. 

Some will now have a really good reason to despise me further, because they know who they are that I speak of. They now question MY loyalty to my grandmother, I was more loyal to her than ANY of them, I loved her more than all of them put together. My grandmother was no angel and i had heard many stories about her  but even so still I loved her. I could love her no matter what. Yes she and I had our differences, I was angry with her many times throughout my years and vice versa but I never ever forgot all that she had taught me and all that she had given me. She loved me, she sheltered me, she fought for and protected me many times over the years, so many times so that I have her to thank for my life today. She kept me alive through the worst times of my life, She hid me from many a storm, she eased the pain of heartbreak, she soothed any anger i might have felt, she held me in her arms and wiped away the tears. Without her I don't know if i would have survived, even through the worst times of my life when i wanted to give up, she gave me reason to go on living my life.She would never let me down, I trusted her with my life. I readily admit I was not perfect but everytime i let her down she always would forgive me for my shortcomings. I have so many wonderful and bitter sweet memories that will sustain me for the rest of my life. And now that she is gone many would like to take away her credit for loving me as much as she did and they would like to take credit for who I am today.....but the credit will always be hers and that no one can take that away from her!!!

As for her so called family, they only care about themselves, they are a bunch of hyenas and vultures waiting to see what they can scavage from whats left of her personal belongs. They won't get any financial compensations since none of them thought about insurance or anything like that before they decided to institionalize her all those years ago and thats as it should be......because the greedy pigs don't deserve to benefit from her death.They had always been a bunch of freeloaders and thieves, always taking from her and seldom ever giving anything back in return.They never appreciated her and now they would have the whole world believe that they had always appreciated and loved her........as if!!!!! I doubt that even now any of them even have a decent sense of loss or even a true feeling of sadness or a realization that she is really gone. Do they care, I doubt that too, they are most likey relieved and gld they no longer are burdened and put upon.

I believe deep in my heart that she began to deteriorate the day her no good children placed her in that cold institution where they had abandoned her for so many years. She spent the rest of her years isolated and alone, seldom ever seeing or hearing any of her family. I was the only one who did sneak in to see her as much as i could. I called her as often i could. I tried to let her know that no matter what I would always love her and never forget her. I was always trying to find ways to get her out of that place but failed miserably everytime but still she loved me and understood. Everytime i went to see her it made me so sad. I saw the lonliness and the pain in her eyes, she was so unbearly lonely in that place and there was nothing I could do to help her or soothe her pain.It was horrendously hard for me to leave her after every visit, it just made me despise my ignorant and heartless family all the more over the years.

I came to eventually despise the entire family for thier heartlessness towards her. Today I say this with as much venom as i can muster..... I hope each and every one of THEM come to suffer the same fate as they chose for her. May they know the isolation and incredible lonliness they bestowed upon her all those years ago. may they also die alone... although i hope their deaths will also be as peaceful. She has been released from such a horrible life and i am sure she has finally found the happiness and peace she was denied in life.

I'm back again, There have a been a few small changes since my last entry. First of all, I have moved away from Simpson, Pa. and am now living in Towanda, Pa. a much better place to live. Its closer to where I was born back 52 years ago....lol!!! I now have a small apartment, abit smaller than what i am used to but less room for clutter now.Anyway, I do like it here, it is quiet and comfy, so relaxing. 


Well, some bad stuff going on as well. I recently learned that my grandmother of 70+ years is very ill and may be nearing her death soon. She is now in hospice care. My emotions are running high at the moment because this woman saved my life so many times, what will I do without her when her time to go has come. I love my grandmother with all my heart, I always have. I will miss her but I have accepted the fact that I have to be strong enough to let her go. She was my rock all through my life. Together she and I laughed & cried. She had always loved me and she had always been there for me. I don't think i would be here today if it wasn't for her, she saved my life so many times. She was everything to me, I have so much to thank her for.  I am so glad to have been lucky enough to know her for as long as i did and to have been her grandchild. I am also so very thankful that i took the time to know her whole life story...... the story that shaped her into the person she became. I am so fortunate that she shared her knowledge and wisdom with me. I will forever love and cherish the woman who helped me to be who I am today..... I hope now she will have the peace she so deserves and she finds the happiness she never quite had here in life. Go in peace my dear grandmother, I love you always and forever, I will never forget you!!!

Scammer /spammer/Penny Rainbolt

Well here I am again. I'm not really good at this blogging thing since i don't do it on a daily basis like most people do. I just don't have alot to write about that would even interest me let alone anyone else.

But things have changed some since I was last here. A few months ago my long lost sister Penny finally found me after alot of years searching... so she claims. She actually found me thru my facebook page...la tee da, If I knew then what I know now I would have been better off had I just not acknowledged her, should have let well enough alone, oh well live and learn. She turned out to be a liar anyway. At first I was excited to have her back in my life, I shared much stuff with her, gave her names, addresses, phone numbers of the rest of the family and put her in touch with them all. I especially regret putting her in touch with my mother, everytime she calls my mom she will talk to her for awhile and then without warning just hang up.... for no reason whatsoever. When asked about it she claims her phone battery died or she accidently hit the wrong button, .....ok I can buy that......once, maybe twice But three, four, five times in a row???? I don't think so. She is just RUDE to just hang up without the courteousy of saying goodbye or whatever.
For awhile she kept in touch with me by one or two emails or a few times by Yahoo messenger. She did only call me once,,,, and then she just hung up on me when she got tired of talking. Then oneday she just stopped emailing, calling and messeging. She was on my facebook everyday for awhile and i saw her there everyday playing the games there but she did chat me a few times but then even that stopped.
Several times i tried to email chat or whatever way I thought I could contact her and I went on totally ignored. She would never answer an email, a facebook messege, chat or a yahoo messege. I tried and tried in every way i could to contact her and everything i did failed. Well suffice to say We are no longer in communication or friends let alone sisters. I have cut all ties with her and no longer even want a relationship with her. because of a facebook virus threat i was also forced to remove her so she is not there anymore either....its just as well!!!
She made promises and didn't even stick to them. She kinda reminds me of my cousins Doris and Donna Appleman... also both schemers and liars always looking for something to spread gossip about our families to make themselves look good to other people.

Anyway, I am done with my so called sister penny so now Im done with all my siblings finally, not a one of them is worth the space they take up. Im on my own and i perfer it that way they are all useless and nothing but trailer trash anyway.

As for penny.... anyone who has read any of her online articles, don't believe a word of anything she writes, she is no better than all those other scammers and spammers out there. She makes a living by scamming innocent people out of money, she lives a life of luxury at others expense and doesn't care about financially hurting these families. She is a liar, a scammer and a selfish heartless bitch. So i warn everyone,,, steer clear of her lying articles not a one of them holds any truth.

Hollywood stars and Death

Another sad day, the headlines brought tears to me. Corey Haim dead at 38. Another young life destroyed by drug abuse. I will never understand why they do it. They have so much, and still they are never really satisfied or happy, let alone thankful for their lives and success.

This guy was an 80's superstar, the world loved him...with a few exceptions of course. He starred in quite few movies, License to Drive, The Lost Boys, Lucus...to name a few. He had everything a young man his age wanted or needed. He was a complete success and on his way to greatness.

Then sudddenly came his drug abuse, partying like there would be no tomorrow. He soon lost his money. hollywood power, his stardom, his home and worst of all he lost himself. He became a weak, lost individual.

When his friends, family and others offered him help he simply refused to be helped, he would not even help himself. In the end, he lost!!!

It makes me so angry at these people who end up dead because of drugs they intentionally use and know the consequences of using drugs. I do not care for the weak and stupid. All these hollywood actors who think they are above the law and indestructible. They work so hard to become good actors and to develope a wonderful talent. A fan base begins to grow and soon into a cult following. Its not enough to be talented, famous, and wealthy. To have the best of everything, privilage of the highest standing and again they are never satisfied with anything they have. They do NOT deserve any of it. They throw all of it away and all for what.... a few hours of feeling good only to shot up, pop another pill or two, drink a ton of alcohol just to achive a stupid high, to escape their own miserable existance.

Here I am struggling day after day just to scrape together enough money to keep a roof over my head, food on my table, wondering what is going to happen tomorrow when the creditors come knocking on my door, or my bank is threatening me with another extended overdraft fee which I have no way of stopping.

Unlike the spoiled rich talented hollywood beautiful people, I have no such talent as any of them,I don't star in, produce or direct movies but sometimes i wish I did, my worries would be over. Unlike the hollywood Beautiful people, I cannot afford a 10 million dollar mansion in beverley hills or maybe a private resort in the south of France. Unlike the hollywood beautiful I don't have millions and millions of useless dollars to spend, furthermore they have so many millions they will never live long enough to spend it, so much so that even their kids or grandkids will never be able to spend it all. It would take and unknown number of generations to spend all that money. I am at a total loss as to why they need so much money and they never do anything worthy with the money, they make no difference to the world. Oh sure some celeberties do donate tens of millions but most are simply for show. The ones i have a problem with are the ones who donate to other countries when thera are so many charities here in the U.S. that are in desperate need of funds. We have so many hungry and abused children, lost and abandoned children, I don't see a celeb donating a penny to them. So, what the hell is the point to having so much money if you aren't going to really do something good with it?? If I had half of what the celebs make for just one movie, I could build at least a thousand or more small homes for the homeless, or maybe feed an entire city of hungry children and adults.

Anyway, I am sad that Corey died but he never knew how much the world loved him. May his family find a way to get thru this and be better for it. As for Corey,,, Rest in peace, my friend!!!